4 Ways to Survive a Breakup

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Photo: Getty Images

Jennifer Lopez and boyfriend Casper Smart have split after 2 and a half years, according to People. Smart, a choreographer, was a former back-up dancer for the singer and American Idol judge.

Separating is hard, no matter who initiated the change. In a past issue of Health magazine, MJ Ryan, author of AdaptAbility: How to Survive Change You Didn’t Ask For, shared her thoughts on breaking up:

Let yourself grieve
“If you didn’t ask for it, you’re going to go through a grieving process. Ultimately you will get over it, but you’re not in charge of timing. [Just remember] there is a light at the end of the tunnel.”

…but don’t let it consume you
“Don’t wallow in your negative and sad feelings. Give these feelings a time of day. If you find your mind going to these feelings, remind yourself that it’s not time for it yet, and distract yourself like crazy. Give your brain something else to think about.”

Stay connected
Tell your friends you need support. “Send an email saying ‘invite me to dinner,’ ‘invite me on vacation,’ or invite me over to your house.’ Your friends will be happy to do it because as friends we like to help, but oftentimes don’t know how.”

Control your actions
“One of the things you are losing is a sense of control. Think of something you can do physically or mentally that is completely in your control like getting stronger and lowering cholesterol. These [types of goals] will help restore a sense of control over your life.”

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