THURSDAY, March 5, 2009 (Health.com) — When a marriage is rocky, it can make both partners feel depressed. But only middle-aged women—not men—seem to have health problems associated with marital strife, such as high blood pressure, excess belly fat, and other factors that boost risks for heart attack and diabetes, according to a study being presented Thursday at the American Psychosomatic Society meeting in Chicago.
“I think we’ve got to get used to the fact that a toxic relationship is toxic to your whole health,” says cardiologist Nieca Goldberg, MD, medical director of New York University’s Women’s Heart Program.
In the study, University of Utah researchers looked at 276 couples to see if depression was the real reason poor marriages have been found to be harmful to health. The couples were middle-aged or older Utah residents who were mostly married for a long time—on average more than 27 years; they ranged in age from 32 to 76.
The researchers found that bad relationships were bad for health—for women at least. Women in troubled relationships were more likely than other women to be depressed. Plus, they were more likely to have metabolic syndrome, a cluster of risk factors including elevated blood pressure, high triglycerides, low levels of HDL (good) cholesterol, abdominal obesity, and elevated blood sugar—all basically steps on the road to heart attack or diabetes.
“For husbands, we didn’t see, on its own, that negative marital stuff was related at all to metabolic syndrome. The only thing it was related to was their depressive symptoms,” says Nancy Henry, a doctoral candidate in clinical psychology at the University of Utah. “For men, having a problematic marriage is still emotionally, but not physically, problematic healthwise.”
Although the researchers didn’t specifically ask the subjects about religion, many Utah residents are Mormons, who may be less likely than people in other religious groups to get divorced, says Henry. “Because we have this really traditional value of marriages here in this state, in this area, then I think we have surveyed couples that are staying together no matter what,” she says.
Comments (14)
Yes, true, especially for those women cannot do divorce easily. Some husbands do not accept divorce, and women are not allowed to divorce unless men have another approved woman or phyisically violations/hurt.
my husband is an alcoholic and verbally/emotionally abusive when he drinks, which is 3-4 nights a week.we have only been together a few years. this is not my first marriage and i am determined to not fail . i am 48 and going thru mentapause. yes i have the “belly chub” just in the last year or so.. and am on paxil… we have nasty arguments at times and then other times he can be good to me…its very hard especially i think as we get older . i want a life long companion ,i don’t want to start over again ! i am a christian and frown greatly on another divorce… this article is very interesting to me thanks!!!!
So that helps explain the belly fat. I am in the process of attempting to lose weight and i am having so much trouble with my stomach fat…it seems impossible; the weight is coming off, but my stomach is very prominent and i have been in a very stressful and unhappy marriage for the past five years.
I HAVE BEEN IN A MARRIAGE FOR 42 YEARS AND SEPERATED FOR 3. HE’S IN ANOTHER STATE AND I SAY THANK GOD. I’VE BEEN ABLE TO LOSE WEIGHT, LOWER BLOOD PRESSURE AND CHOLESTEROL AND BE HAPPIER THAN I HAVE BEEN IN 40 YEARS. NO PHYSICAL ABUSE, JUST CONSTANT BELLYACHING AND THROWING TEMPER TANTRUMS, BREAKING UP FURNITURE AND THROWING THINGS PAST MY HEAD, HE SAYS HE’S A BETTER PITCHER, THAT IF HE HAD WANTED TO HIT ME HE WOULD HAVE. CAN’T DIVORCE DUE TO HEALTH INSURANCE AND JOINT PROPERTY PROBLEMS. DREAD THE DAY HE RETIRES AND MOVES DOWN HERE ON THE SAME ACREAGE, THINK I WILL MOVE AWAY FROM MY ONLY GRANDCHILD DUE TO THIS EVENTUALLY. CAN’T TAKE IT AGAIN AT MY AGE.
I completely agree with you. Always when I am in a bad mood because of my boyfriend I feel miserable and what I do is eat, eat, and eat. I guess at that point of time I do not care whether I would gain weight and fat or not. I am just finding a relieve in food. For men is different I would say. I know many men who have problems with their wifes, or girlfriends and instead of eating they are drinking alkohol. To be honest with you, I think is better to eat than to turn alkoholic, but this is just my own opinion. What you girls think?
Geri
http://healthy-body-exercises.com/
Iquite agree with some of the above comments.Women tend to suffer more than men whenever there is a threat of divorce or divorce itself.
Iremember at times that i would wish that i divorce my husband because of his non-challant attitude towards the relationship sometimes.
want to know something more about this
My husband and I went through a really tough time due to his mental illness, which caused him to go through cyclical depression combined with psychotic symptoms. I was his 3rd wife, and I can understand why. I begged him to see a doctor and get into treatment, but it took 3 years for him to finally agree to get help. I managed to get through to him by giving him the choice of treatment or divorce…it was his decision, and he made the right one. During the rough times, I was on Paxil, to help me deal with my own depression, and I gained 25 pounds. After my husband started on his own meds, and got back on even keel, I was able to drop my meds, but although I was able to get back to my original weight, I never was able to loose the belly bulge. As a follow-up: Our marriage is now very good, but if he had refused treatment, I would have divorced him. It is just NOT worth living with that kind of tension and turmoil.
All for Wedding :)
Be Happy, Have Fun!
I feel like all that i have worked for is over, I really want to get out of this, I am tired of being taking advantage of, and I do not feel good at all he always come home mad and when I leave the house he gets mad and he want let me get a job. He has put me in a place where I do not have money or anything.
I am in a toxic relationship and will see a therapist on June 23rd. I pay all family bills, try to add to savings. 12 years ago my husband showed me about his hidden money and I went into shock and into the hospital. Last week, many years later he showed me his new stash and I flipped. Good for him on his small expense money. I think I should turn all the bills over to him and the bank savings so he can understand our problems. I feel stranded in this mess. ugh!
how can you stop being streed out.
I must say that in spite of the study shown in the article, a bad marriage can be health wise physically damaging to men as well.
Not just theory, but my own personal medical records indicate this as well.
Testosterone levels in the blood stream being too high, as a result of lack of intimacy. In my case No intimacy in a sexless marriage. At least no sex on my part that is. According to my family Dr. this caused a elevated level of adrenaline which deteriorates the heart. In short the Dr. told me flat out, “Your wife is killing you!”
Stress related problems play a major role in health as well.
We had a private marriage, but nothing private about the divorce as it has been heard and read about up and down the east coast. “Brent Duane Canipe-Curtis vs Crystal Rae Rebecca Curtis”
Her religious beliefs was a major shock and not known until after the “I do”. When she told me she didn’t believe in sex with married men, this included her own husband! If that wasn’t stressful enough, seeing other men was not only acceptable to her, but she expected me not to have a problem with that!
After reading you blog, I thought your articles is great! I am very like your articles and I am very interested in the field of Free trial. Your blog is very useful for me .I bookmarked your blog! I trust you will behave better from now on; I hope she understands that she cannot exepct a raise.