Dr. Gold and her colleagues followed 7,700 pregnant couples from around the country for up to 15 years. The rates of pregnancy loss in the study population were comparable to those reported in previous studies: Sixteen percent and 2% of the pregnancies ended in miscarriage and stillbirth, respectively.

Regardless of how their pregnancies ended, couples were more likely to split up if they were living together rather than married, if the mother was young, and if the relationship was less than one year old. (Couples who were more affluent and had a religious affiliation, on the other hand, were more likely to stay together.) Even when all of these factors were taken into account, however, couples who experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth were still more likely to split up, the researchers found.

It’s unclear whether the separations were directly related to the pregnancy, however. Relationship problems, parental depression, and other factors may be responsible for the pregnancy loss and the end of the relationship, Dr. Gold points out. (As the study notes, depression has been linked to lost pregnancies.)

“There’s a possibility that something we couldn’t measure was contributing to the risk: mom has a chronic disease, substance abuse, something about the quality of the relationship,” Dr. Gold says. “We can’t prove the loss is causing the breakup.”

In practice, the study findings should be “sensitively applied,” says Gamino. “The last thing a couple wants to hear after a loss is that they might lose their marriage, too.”

Couples should be forthright about coping with the loss of a pregnancy, says David Keefe, MD, the chair of obstetrics and gynecology at New York University’s Langone Medical Center, in New York City. According to Dr. Keefe, the healing process beings by acknowledging the pain and grief.

“Grief is a very, very powerful force that needs to be reckoned with,” says Dr. Keefe, who has also had psychiatric training. “It needs to be managed, and the first thing you do when you manage something is to identify it, then act on it.”

Above all, acting on it should involve talking to each other, but also to a doctor or nurse, a therapist, friends, family—”everybody who will listen,” says Dr. Keefe. “The best way to cope with grief is to speak it. If you don’t put the grief out, it will break your heart.”

Crying helps too, he adds. “The tears wash the grief out,” he says. “Words are helpful but tears with words are even more helpful.”

Couples should keep in mind that the way people grieve is affected by individual temperament and even gender, Gamino says. Whereas women tend to display textbook symptoms such as sadness, crying, and withdrawal, men may bury themselves in work, alcohol, or household tasks.

“Couples need to respect their differences and be tolerant,” he says. “Understanding makes a difference.”