One reason why older women are less sexually active than men may be because they don’t have a partner, or because their partner is no longer healthy enough to have sex. “Women outlive their marriages and their relationships,” Dr. Lindau says.
She and her colleagues found that as women aged, they were far less likely than men to be married or living with a partner. In one of the surveys the authors used, just 58% of the women ages 65 to 74 had a partner, compared to 79% of men in the same age bracket. Among 75- to 85-year-olds, 72% of men still had a partner, compared to just 39% of women.
When women did have a partner, they were almost as likely as their male counterparts to be sexually active, although they tended to give their sex lives lower marks than men did. In every age group included in the surveys, a smaller percentage of women than men described their sex life as “good” overall.
“Some women are sexually active to please their partners, and some may feel that they can’t say no,” Dr. Lindau says.
Dennis Lin, MD, a psychiatrist in the psychosexual medicine program at Beth Israel Medical Center, in New York City, says that the gender differences reported in the study may reflect cultural attitudes in addition to health or demographic factors.
“In our society, women are brought up in a way that they are not supposed to ask for or want to have sex, and this is certainly true in older women,” Dr. Lin says. “So they may be reporting that they don’t want sex because they are too modest to admit that they do.”
Dr. Lindau agrees that “the stigma that society attached to older women and sexuality” may have shaped the survey data. The opposite may also be true: Older men may exaggerate the amount of sex they are having.
And just because women aren’t having sex with a partner doesn’t mean their sexual needs aren’t being met, Westheimer points out. “Some couples find it easier to masturbate rather than engage in sexual activity,” she says. “The researchers should now go back and do another study and find out about masturbation.”
Older women without a partner “should get a vibrator,” she adds.
The study was far from exhaustive. As the authors note, the study didn’t follow individuals over time, and only considered heterosexual couples. Still, it drives home the fact that health and sex go hand in hand.
“Health-care providers need to assess sexual activity and the quality of the sexual activity in [their] patients,” says Dr. Lin. “If you are not sexually satisfied, doctors can make referrals to improve your sex life.”
